Showing posts with label Jared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jared. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Robin Williams.




I very much needed this video last semester. I still need it now. I needed it eight years when depression took hold of me the first time. 

As a person who suffers terribly from depression and anxiety, some days it just isn't in the cards to get out of bed. To shower. To eat. To go outside, or even talk to anyone. 

I've lost friends and have had friends get angry at me because they think that I'm being lazy because I just don't have the willpower to get out of bed to see them. 

I had a previous boyfriend blow up on me as being "clingy, childish, and attention-grabbing" because he stopped talking to me on vacation and the last text I sent him, I told him I was scared, tired, and that I wanted to end my life because I just didn't have the will to go through what I was going through anymore. (Thanks to an online friend named Maeve that I'm still here right now. She took the time to talk to me and get me in a good space in my head.)

But I came out of that. I'm fortunate enough to be here right now. But I have several friends who are not here right now. I miss them every day.

And, of course, there will be times where I'll go for months and be fine. Then, suddenly, one day, I won't be fine again. No one did anything to make me upset. Just something in my head clicks out of place and nothing is right anymore.

Yet, in these episodes, it's possible to have "good days." 

These are precious gemstones in a bucket of mud, and your loved ones start to realize that after a while, and try to make the most out of those days. Good days are tricky, though. You'll have a few in a row and you'll think "Oh wow, everything is awesome again!" only to find yourself curled in a ball under every blanket you own a few days later.

Depression isn't picky. Depression will take anyone. It causes your whole body to ache, you lose your appetite, you feel like you're drowning, but without the water. 

Even when there's "nothing to be depressed about," you can still be depressed. 

Like Robin Williams, who was the funniest man alive, had everything he could ever want, had no apparent reason to be sad. He, too, was sad.

Please, if you or a loved one is depressed, reach out, no matter how hard it is. No matter what you think, someone will miss you. 

I will miss you.

O Captain, my captain...