Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Today, Everything Changed

Last night, I had a dream that all my teeth got knocked out and I had to get new ones. Today, I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I'm not sure if there's any correlation there. 

I wish I had something more moving to say than that, but I am still trying to process things. All I can say now is that I feel both relief knowing that my pain has been validated (and that I have not been crazy for the past few years), and that I am also sad that I have to live with this the rest of my life. It will be a constant battle of pain and symptom management, but I am okay with that so long as I feel even 10% better. Likewise, I am glad to have the people around me that I do. 

Also, because of the increase in my pain, my depression has also been getting worse, and I know I have 100% taken out these emotions on the people closest to me. Whether those people read this or not, I want to say I am sorry. They didn't deserve that. 

Many people have asked me "What now?" Well, your guess is as good as mine. Of course, there will be medication, and I do have a plan of action for treatment. But even still, it's trial and error until we get it right. 

All that matters is that we keep trying.

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