Robin Williams.

I very much needed this video last semester. I still need it now. I needed it eight years when depression took hold of me the first time. 

As a person who suffers terribly from depression and anxiety, some days it just isn't in the cards to get out of bed. To shower. To eat. To go outside, or even talk to anyone. 

I've lost friends and have had friends get angry at me because they think that I'm being lazy because I just don't have the willpower to get out of bed to see them. 

I had a previous boyfriend blow up on me as being "clingy, childish, and attention-grabbing" because he stopped talking to me on vacation and the last text I sent him, I told him I was scared, tired, and that I wanted to end my life because I just didn't have the will to go through what I was going through anymore. (Thanks to an online friend named Maeve that I'm still here right now. She took the time to talk to me and get me in a good space in my head.)

But I came out of that. I'm fortunate enough to be here right now. But I have several friends who are not here right now. I miss them every day.

And, of course, there will be times where I'll go for months and be fine. Then, suddenly, one day, I won't be fine again. No one did anything to make me upset. Just something in my head clicks out of place and nothing is right anymore.

Yet, in these episodes, it's possible to have "good days." 

These are precious gemstones in a bucket of mud, and your loved ones start to realize that after a while, and try to make the most out of those days. Good days are tricky, though. You'll have a few in a row and you'll think "Oh wow, everything is awesome again!" only to find yourself curled in a ball under every blanket you own a few days later.

Depression isn't picky. Depression will take anyone. It causes your whole body to ache, you lose your appetite, you feel like you're drowning, but without the water. 

Even when there's "nothing to be depressed about," you can still be depressed. 

Like Robin Williams, who was the funniest man alive, had everything he could ever want, had no apparent reason to be sad. He, too, was sad.

Please, if you or a loved one is depressed, reach out, no matter how hard it is. No matter what you think, someone will miss you. 

I will miss you.

O Captain, my captain...

Post by Today Show.

To Have and to Hold: From Miss to Mrs.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure to attend my wonderful friend Coleen's bridal shower at the Robin's Nest Restaurant in Mount Holly, NJ. The whole thing was a surprise and turned out wonderfully! Doesn't she look gorgeous?! Also, peep those bridal Minnie ears!

More under the cut.

Wanted: A Cure for Writer's Block and Ebola (Not Related)

Seeking a doctor to provide cure for writer's block. Minimal pay, may receive earnings from my first book, if ever published. Also, searching for a doctor who can cure Ebola, as am now afraid to leave my house ever again due to recent outbreak.

Inquire within.

Okay, so I'm not totally serious. (I kind of am.) I'm in the midst of writing a novel, and I've hit a writing roadblock. I had enough steam to write about 3.5 pages, which is great, but then out of nowhere...it's gone. And while it doesn't sound like much, anyone who knows me knows that is a lot of writing. I just want to accomplish something for once, and get it out into the world! Does anyone have any tips or tricks for writers block?

Also, the recent serious outbreak of Ebola has me extremely wigged out. I'm lucky now that I don't work on the front lines of the store right now, so I'm not in contact with thousands of customers a day. But it's still terrifying. I don't even want to leave my house or go out to eat anymore. (I say this after eating out at Longhorn last night and Panera this afternoon....)

Any thoughs to quell my fears?

No Games This Time

I'm not going to pretend like I have forgotten about you again. 

I have not. 

In fact, every time I get on the computer, the little Blogger bookmark stares me in the face. It looks at me and says "come write!" 

But I don't know what to write about. I see that blinking cursor and I freeze up. Every intelligent thought goes out of my head, and I get anxious even thinking about trying to write. Nothing is good enough for this little blog of mine. 

I don't know what this blog is, or what it's meant to be. I originally wanted something to do all day when I was at home and out of work. I wanted to try and make a little extra money on the side, and make some new friends. 

Don't get me wrong, I have done these things.

But at the same time, so much has changed. 

I don't even look like my display picture here anymore. 

I don't even feel like y'all every got to know me. 

So in the dawn of a new age for this blog (and potentially a new name and layout), I'm going to let you get to know me.

Howdy, I'm Heather.

I have teal hair. For now.

I scream when I like things or people tell me things that they like that I also like. 

I work at Wegmans as a dishwasher.

I am a history major and yes, I will drag you to that boring historical place you don't want to go.

I am very random and my thoughts (and conversations) are all over the place.

I love my family.

I'm obsessed with: corgis, mason jars, iced tea, the color teal, pugs, tumbler cups, books, makeup, and stationary.

I forget things really easily.

I have a few favorite places: Ocean City, NJ; Washington, D.C.; Red Bank Battlefield Park; Philadelphia; and anywhere I can go with my boyfriend, Bill.

I love to write.

I love to make things with my hands.

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I'm miserable at being an adult.

I buy too many books and spend too much time on the internet or at Target.

I turn into a giant mushball when I see any sort of dog, and they are all puppies to me.

I also enjoy taking pictures.

So there you have it. That's a look in to me. I hope to, in the coming weeks, redesign this blog and give it a new name. To breath new life into it. To not worry so much about what it is.

What you can expect next:

A little bit of everything...

Day trips.

History stuff.

Short story blips.

Makeup.

Everyday life? 

Who knows! It'll be a Pandora's box of a blog, I suppose.

Until next time, my friends...